after a lengthy "pregame" session, we walked to the gates of our veritable oasis to try and hail two taxis into the city. well, as with any taxi ride in china, there is always much haggling to be had including shouting, frantic hand motions, and angry faces, only to eventually end with smiles and "shie-shie's" all around. i guess bargaining is just in the blood of the chinese and warrants no hard feelings at the end of a transaction. i am always fatigued and frustrated by the time any haggling is over, but the taxi driver acts as if nothing happened. i appreciate this custom and will strive to become a master at the taxi haggle. well, after arriving at the KFC (as this is the only landmark we know how to communicate and thus call the street KFC Boulevard), we walked with great anticipation toward a street a few blocks away teeming with neon lights suggesting some kind of nightlife activity. on the way, pat and i took a detour to an alley to relieve ourselves of the burden our bladders had so selfishly given us, when upon exiting the alley (still fastening out pants) we were greeted by two younger chinese men. while the conversation was understandably void of any real meaning, we were able to communicate our desperate desire to go to a nightclub (i say desperate because our means of communication - body movement in what could be construed as some type of dancing - had to have come across as desperate). the two men pointed to a grouping of flashing neon lights a few blocks down the road. we thanked them and hurried to tell the others of our discovery.
after checking out a few of the establishments on the busy street, which turned out to be karaoke bars all in chinese (i don't know why we thought it would be otherwise), we decided to check out the place the two young men had pointed out. waltzing in as if we were VIP's . . .
the overwhelming fragrance of cigarette smoke immediately gave me a second-hand buzz, so my report of the scene may be somewhat skewed, but i give myself artistic liberties in this case. well, the first thing that i noticed was the woman singing on the stage in the middle of the multi-level club. people were all gathered around the stage sitting on tables cheering for the glamorously-clad woman singing. we were greeted and taken to be seated on the second floor balcony. we had hoped for a nightclub to dance (or at least i had . . . you know me and dancing), but this was definitely serving as a necessary cultural experience. after the woman was done with her little ditty, a man in what can only be called a suit made from a leopard perpetually stuck in the 80's (shiny leopard pants and a shiny floor-length leopard coat) strolled out rocking huge black sunglasses. his act included various chinese pop songs, beer drinking contests, as well as a portion dedicated to making fun of us (singing "a,b,c,d" . . . then saying something in chinese and everyone laughing, except us of course, all the while looking up at us). we, of course, loved it and pretended like we didn't know that they were making fun of us. just to make ourselves look even more mock-worthy, i descended the stairs and gave the guy a beer which he proceeded to chug much to our delight. after a few more songs, we were all but ready to leave and try the karaoke bars as the club had turned out to just be a dinner theatre type venue, when . . .
women in bikinis exploded onto the stage and gave a short, yet effective, little show. the night was looking promising . . . we had no idea. just as the swimsuit show ended, the music grew louder, the lights began flashing even more rapidly and the stage that had once supported the 80's leopard guy, the glamorous woman, and the scantily clad chinese swimmers retracted and the people who had been sitting at the tables rushed the floor. looking at each other; "pijiu", "baijiu", and cigarette smoke fueling our desires, we followed the tonglians and rushed onto the floor with cheering from the crowd. crawling onto the stage (crawling was necessary in our state), trying to dance with shy chinese girls (who subsequently ran away screaming), and other antics ensued. the rest of the pictures can explain the rest. i will return with more stories of well-received awkwardness and embarrassment.
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